


Coming To Terms

by Britpacker



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-02
Updated: 2011-02-02
Packaged: 2018-08-15 17:01:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8064736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Britpacker/pseuds/Britpacker
Summary: Missing scene, 3.23 "Countdown". Late at night, the boys discuss acceptance.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Kylie Lee, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Warp 5 Complex](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Warp_5_Complex), the software of which ceased to be maintained and created a security hazard. To make future maintenance and archive growth easier, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but I may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Warp 5 Complex collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/Warp5Complex).
> 
>  **Author's notes:** They belong to Paramount, and I do this for fun. 'Nuff said.  
>  No beta, so all mistakes are my own.  
> Spoilers for "Shockwave I & II" 3.22 "The Council" and 3.23 "Countdown"

"You know Degra's been murdered?"

"I doubt there's anyone for fifty light years who hasn't heard that by now, love."

"You'd think I'd be celebratin', but I'm not."

"I'm glad to hear it. I'd hate to think my lover could be callous enough to rejoice in another family's suffering."

"Low blow, Malcolm. You know I've spent the last few months imaginin' the slowest, most painful way to kill the bastard myself."

"And I _also_ know you'd never have taken it beyond a ghastly fantasy. You could kill a man without hesitation to save Enterprise, but you're not vicious enough to do it calculatedly, in cold blood."

"You reckon?"

"Wouldn't be lying stark naked in your bed if I didn't."

"Oh yeah, you're naked. Y' should do it more often, Mal, 's a good look on you."

"I hardly think the Captain would agree. At least, I bloody well hope he wouldn'!"

"Mmm, he better not: I don't _do_ sharin'. Kiss me again, darlin'."

"Christ, that was good! What were we saying?"

"I was telling you, I'm not celebratin' Degra's death. Not that I've forgiven him..."

"I'm not sure he could quite forgive himself by the end. It didn't harm him to see the cost of his blasted weapon first-hand, Trip. Maybe it's the kind of salutary shock we all need now and then."

"You 'n' me ain't never wiped out all them innocent people - and don't go bringin' up that damn Suliban tampering with your shuttlepod, 'cause those deaths were their doin', not yours."

"I know, but I'm not a Vulcan. I can't help thinking if I hadn't been flying the shuttlepod on that course..."

"Travis or I would've been. Or the Cap'n. Anyway, t'ain't the same, and you know it. Degra designed a weapon intending for it to be used jus' the way it was. To slaughter millions of innocent humans. It's the intention that mattered, darlin'."

"His intention was to protect his people, however hideously misguided his actions were."

"I know. I'm tellin' you, Malcolm I realize that now. I - we kinda got to understanding each other while you were on the Sphere. I'm not sayin' we liked each other, and I'm sure as hell not forgivin' him for Lizzie bein' dead..."

"I doubt he expected absolution, from you or anyone else. Nobody found it easy to be around him, Trip. I'm not sure you realised that, but it sickened us all to find ourselves working with him - for a while at least."

"You figured before I did, he was trying to stop anythin' like that happening again."

"He knew he was putting his life - and the lives of his family - at risk to help us. You've made it clear you don't want to hear this, Trip, but I had to respect him for that."

"'s okay. I kinda got to that stage myself before he died. I think he knew it - hope he did, anyhow."

"He mayn't have had much experience with humans, but I doubt he could misread you, Mister Tucker. You don't so much wear your heart on your sleeve as wander around brandishing it to belt people over the head with."

"Gee, i'n't that a pretty picture! Malcmmmmpppfff!"

"I adore your straightforwardness, Trip. You know that, don't you?"

"Kissin' me senseless don't make me less mad at you."

"Really?"

"Dammit, Reed, stop smirkin'! I love you, alright, and I can't stay mad at you if I try. Things mighta been a whole lot easier if that damned Reptilian hadn't killed Degra on us."

"We would have had another ally; but we'll muddle though."

"You think?"

"Don't we always? I'm glad you and he had time to reach some kind of understanding."

"Me too. I feel better for it."

"You're certainly behaving better. Phlox commented when I visited Hoshi earlier how nice it was to hear you making small-talk again."

"I got some apologisin' to do, haven't I?"

"Not at all. You've been thumping around like a great black cloud for months, but everyone understands. We even admit we'd have been the same - if not worse - in your position."

"You'd not've snarled and spat at folks, Mal."

"Possibly not, but I recognised why you did. Everyone's ached for you, love. It's hideous to see someone you care for being corroded by so much rage and grief."

"Corroded. Yeah, that's how it felt. I couldn't believe the Cap'n 'd bring the bastard that caused it on board."

"I've not approved of all Captain Archer's actions during this mission - far from it - but we needed Degra's help. I wish we still had it."

"You an' me both! You're gonna be careful, right? Now I gotcha, I don't wanna be losin' you anytime soon."

"I'll be fine."

"Hmpf! I know your _fine_ Mistah Reed. I wantcha to be better than that. And I'm sorry, whether you wanna hear it or not. I've been the world's biggest dumbass, and I've been a real vicious dumbass to you."

"Don't think about it. I knew you needed to lash out at someone; better it be me than a superior officer, or a subordinate who won't forgive you quite as easily."

"Malcolm, I'd sooner've hurt the Cap'n than you, and he's been my friend for more'n ten years. I hated m'self every time I pushed you away or yelled..."

"It's all right. I kept putting myself up to be knocked down, and I knew exactly what I was doing. I love you, Charles Tucker the Third. If you can't bawl out the person who loves you most, who can you let go at?"

"Dammit, Malcolm now you're makin' me cry again! I don't deserve you, but I'm so damn glad I got y'."

"You _have_ got me, and I'm not going to let you go. And - I'm proud of you for reaching an understanding with Degra. It's never easy to let go of the kind of emotional force you've carried since the first attack."

"Guess so. Like I said to Phlox, I don't feel like _me_ without the anger inside. You understand that?"

"Only too well."

"Mal? You're turnin' in on yourself again. What's running through that handsome head 'f yours, lover?"

"It's nothing, love. Just - I've been feeling as if something's _lacking_ in me for the last few weeks, and you've finally made me realise what."

"Happy t' be of service, but I don't like that serious expression. What's missing, and do y' want it back?"

"Christ, no! It's the loneliness, Trip; that's what I've been puzzling over ever since we got together. It had been there like a lead coating 'round my vitals for so long, I almost felt... bereft when your love melted it away. I've been wandering around thinking a piece of myself had got lost, but it was the emptiness I'd been living with, all along."

"You miss bein' lonely?"

"Hardly! It's just like your hatred of Degra and the Xindi; something I'd become so accustomed to that I felt different when it was gone. You'll get used to the new you, Trip. It won't even take very long."

"Darlin', I've gotten used to it already. It's lettin' me be with you."

"Ah, Trip! That's good, love!"

"Lemme make it better than good, Mal. Stay tonight."

"Thank you. I will."


End file.
